cho·ri·zo - A spicy Spanish pork sausage

Hola, chorizo. Como estas? Delicioso? Si.

- from Jeremy

Honestly, sometimes this blog is just one more thing that I don't have the time for. Or the energy for. Or frankly, the heart for. And I don't mean "heart" in that ministry sense like, "he's got a heart for the Congo," or "she's got a heart for reaching celebrities," I mean "heart" in that other sense. As in, "Fern had a bit of chorizo in her teeth, but I didn't have the heart to tell her since Wilbur was dead." It's probably something akin to courage, but not the courage that counter-poses fear as much as the courage that stares down emptiness and hopelessness. Mmmm, but now I can't stop thinking about chorizo.

We can talk about perspective and faith, and that's important and valid. I can no doubt convince you of the blessing of the sovereignty of a loving God, and how He has not given us more than we are able to deal with, granting His strength to help. I am quick to tell people what Pastor Karns said about how your life can shrink to the size of your problems if your not careful to keep your eyes on Jesus. And I am truly thankful knowing what C. S. Lewis said about pain being God's megaphone to the world, and we have certainly heard from Him through the struggles with our special boys. And I know, I mean know beyond any doubting, that my life was always going to be just exactly as it is, and any expectations I had for my future were daydreams and conceits. But some days it's so impossible and intimidating that I wish these boys had never been born. Or that I hadn't.

Does that shock you to read? I probably shouldn't write it, but it's true. There are times when the blessing that they are and the joy of fatherhood is totally eclipsed by the panic-level tension of living with them, and living with the people that have to live with them. Those times when Josiah has slept for three hours the night before in five sessions spanning three rooms, and he's wailed and flailed off and on for hours before he starts in with the head beating. And all I can think when I look at him is how this is going to be when he's fifteen. And meanwhile Jalen is in the back yard with a mouthful of dirt and a piece of plastic jammed in the key hole of the car door he just mutilated with a rock. And Christy is crying. Not a couple of silent tears, I mean really crying. A weary, plaintive sobbing as she pushes him in the swing. And Judah is screaming at Jack, whose big-brother playful aggravation would be overlooked in another setting, but because of everything else that he can't control and didn't ask for, it gets him in trouble and crushes his spirit just a little more. And Olivia is obviously angry. She still has to do her homework and go to bed on time even though she literally saved her brother's life today. Again. And I'm on the phone in the office saying, "I'm doing great, how are you doing tonight? Can I interest you in some life insurance?"

It's not the hardest situation anyone's ever dealt with in the history of the world. Not even close. It's not even remotely the hardest thing anyone is going through right now. But it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. To keep on going in the face of this. To have the heart to write about it. Oh, I just remembered something. Christy said the last couple of posts have been quite serious so I should write something light and funny. It's probably too late for light now. Chorizo!

Lord, I Believe; Help my Unbelief

We thank Pastor Bob La Tour and Papa to our children for another excellent guest post.

When we cannot understand what God is doing, we must cling to Who He is.  And therein lies a problem.  It is impossible for us to think of God in anything other than human terms because…we’re human!  God is the eternal, self-existent, unchanging and invisible Spirit Who is the Source and Sustainer of all else!  Although He is transcendent to the point that he must humble Himself to even behold things in the heavens and on earth,¹ and cannot possibly be fully known or described by mankind, He has chosen to reveal enough of Himself to awe those Who go to His Word humbly with childlike faith.²  This true and living God described in the Bible is everywhere present in all of His essence at all times.³  He knows all things past, present and future⁴ down to the very hairs on our head,⁵ the words that we have spoken and have yet to speak, the steps that we have taken and have yet to take, and the things that we have thought and have yet to think!⁶ 

As a matter of fact, He fashioned us and every other human being exactly how He chose as pieces in the grand puzzle of His providence.⁶  He has the power to do anything consistent with His character, but the wisdom to do that which magnifies the glory of His unique Excellency as He directs every detail of His will.  This God, Whose unfathomable glory and holiness defy man’s best attempts to understand and describe Him, “is righteous in all His ways, gracious in all His works.”⁷  This God, Who is “clothed with honor and majesty, Who covers Himself with light as with a garment, Who stretched out the heavens like a curtain,⁸ is immanent and personal.  As the Almighty who commanded light to shine out of darkness, He has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge His glory in the face of Jesus Christ.”⁹   He has transformed into children of light we who have placed our exclusive and entire trust in the Person and work of His Son.¹⁰  He has commanded us to shine as lights in a corrupt and sin-darkened world whether He brings sunshine or rain, mountaintop or valley into our lives.  To us, He is “the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”¹¹

 

Now, that just fixes everything, doesn’t it?  Hardly!  We are flesh, and even though we may truly believe all of the above by the grace of God, we still struggle with the fact that He has chosen to send storms into our lives for the purpose of bringing glory to Himself.  We read with mixed emotion verses like Ecclesiastes 3:11.  “He has made everything beautiful in its time.  Also He has put eternity in their hearts, except that no one can find out the work that God does from beginning to end.”  Solomon realized that we struggle to see the “beauty” in some things that God ordains, and that, even though He has given us a sense of the eternal, we cannot “figure it all out” as it relates to our personal role in His grand scheme.  It is too easy to look back at the lions’ dens, giants, fiery furnaces and thorns in the flesh of Bible characters that we see as “larger than life,” and forget that they struggled just like we do.

We know by faith that there is much more to our existence than this life and, yet, from Adam and Eve’s misguided curiosity until now, mankind has had an insufferable itch to know what God knows.  There is a sense in which knowing everything would take away faith and hope and trust and thereby rob us of a blessing.  What we need is the simple transparency of the disciples when they responded to Christ’s teaching on forgiveness.  "Take heed to yourselves. If your brother sins against you, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.   And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times in a day returns to you, saying, 'I repent,' you shall forgive him."  And the apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith."  If the disciples needed increased faith in order to embrace and obey some of Christ’s teachings, then surely we do also!

When we cannot understand what God is doing, or when personal circumstances stretch our faith, we must cry out, “Increase our faith!”  Rest assured, God will respond as He sees fit.  And that is always best!  The next time doubts and discouragement and disillusionment weigh you down and distract you from the truth of God’s sovereignty, offer up this prayer of dependence,
“Lord, I believe!  Please, help my unbelief!” 

1 Psalm 113:5,6   2 Mark 10:14-16    3 Proverbs 15:3   4 Isaiah 46:10   5 Luke 12:7   6 Psalm 139; Exodus 4:10-12   7 Psalm 145:17   8  Psalm 104:1,2   9  II Corinthians 4:6   10  Ephesians 5:8   11 II Corinthians 1:3,4    12  John 20:24-29 

What is your story of GRACE?

- from Christy

Jeremy and I met while attending college at Bob Jones University. Several times a year, the University puts on a program called Vespers. A good friend of ours recently posted a link to a video that was shared in one of the Vespers programs this year. The video was excellent, and it helped me put words to the thoughts I have been struggling with for some time. Three stories of grace were shared, and the video ends by asking, "What is your story of GRACE?"

When contemplating this question, I can recall several stories of God's abundant grace being made evident in my life. All of these circumstances have built upon each other. They have caused me to know beyond all knowing that my God is good, and that He has always been faithful to me. In the midst of sleepless nights and unending meltdowns, in the midst of uncertainty about the future and heartache about questions I can't answer now, in the midst of my failings and my sin, I know that Jesus Christ has all of this planned out. He knows my every thought and every concern. He knows my grief, and He grieves with me. Our boys have been perfectly created by an all wise, all knowing, all powerful, all loving creator. Because of God's faithfulness and grace in our lives, I can honestly say that I would not change our boys. Emotions will come and times of weakness are inevitable, but, in the end, all that matters is that God is good. 

Please click on the link below, and take time to watch the video. I pray it will be a blessing to you as much as it was to me. Many of our readers will particularly appreciate the story from the perspective of a mother with special needs children.

http://www.bju.edu/events/fine-arts/vespers.php#video


Here are some pictures from our one snow day this winter! There wasn't a lot of snow, but the kids had a blast!